How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

Cue that Rhinestone Cowboy song and saddle up for some Pinterest inspired crafty body positive badassery. That’s officially a word because I finally taught it to my iPhone autocorrect (also bulls*ttery).

In case we haven’t met yet, I should introduce myself. Hi, I’m Allie, I’m a recovered anorexic and bulimic. (This is the part where you say Hi and introduce yourself back, because manners). From the age of 11 to just about 16 I struggled with two eating disorders. I won’t bore you with any of the sensationalist details. All you need to know was it was terrible and I never want to go back. If you are struggling with it, I’m going to have a link at the end that has some resources, because it would be irresponsible for me to share my story without it (and I want you to get better!) I got help at BC Children’s Hospital. I was a day treatment patient for a few months. They got me healthy and sent me on my way to live my life and here we are.

This is how I went about deweaponizing my scale and turning it into attractive wall art that would make Elle Woods of Legally Blonde just a little bit jealous.

How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

My scale works just fine. It accurately measures my relationship with gravity. It turns out it’s incredibly TERRIBLE at measuring my worth as a person and I was using it for the wrong for thing for years. Super awkward. I was trying to see a reflection of myself in it and it turns out that’s what mirrors are for and there’s one in my bathroom above the sink. Neither of them reflect who I am on the inside. Anyways, after a number years of self-flagellation every time I stepped on this piece of modern technology, I took matters into my own hands.

How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

My one complaint with my local craft store is they shouldn’t accept my rent money if they aren’t willing to let me live there. I’m a great roommate. I went to my local crafting vendor of choice and spent a tiny fortune on sparkly stuff, a sampling of which is depicted above.

How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

If you don’t like it, then you better put some bling on it! Or whatever that Beyonce song says. I don’t know. The nice thing about rhinestone sheets is that they are easier to apply than fitted sheets and you never have to change them.

How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

I stuck my Dear John letter to my scale right on that sucker. It was as if I were leaving a goodbye sticky note on a bad boyfriend’s forehead before moon walking away to a happier life. I wrote, ” I am enough just as I am now”. I never felt like I was enough before, but I always felt like I occupied too much space. It was a weird eating disorder dichotomy, like the ex-boyfriend who says “Nobody else will ever want you” but then accuses you of cheating. I’m done with it. I’m enough and I don’t need the scale to measure the  enoughness of me. I just am. No empirical evidence required.

How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

I picked butterflies to embellish my art project. They remind me that it’s possible feel small and alone and in unspeakable darkness and later emerge with fancy wings that can take me anywhere I please. They remind me it’s not possible to see my own beauty in the blackness, but it comes to light eventually. I felt like a gross caterpillar when I couldn’t see myself clearly, but no more.

How To Deweaponize A Scale Using Mainly Rhinestones

I loved the sparkly trim, because for me, it symbolized boundaries. This project and my recovery journey was me saying “I do not accept the things that make me feel ‘lesser than’ or ‘not enough’. This is my boundary” At a certain point in my illness, I made a decision that I couldn’t live that way anymore. Boundaries are beautiful. They keep us safe; they keep us alive.

My scale was deaweaponized, bedazzled and a thing of beauty finally. I was using it for the wrong thing, to reflect my worth as a person. I turned it into wall art so that it finally reflects me, but on the inside. Sparkly. Sassy. Fun. Pretty. Glittery. Girly. Expressive.

The first week of February is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Find out what’s going on in your community and get involved. Consider deweaponizing your own scale if it’s not adding value to your life in it’s current form (and send me a picture!) I am a volunteer with Looking Glass Foundation (but this is my own initiative and reflects my own opinions). They have a resource list here and so does Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre.

This was my declaration of independence and I thank you for reading it. I’m recovered but I still struggle. I’m thankful for the people who support me and for the resources I have available.This is a small piece of my mission to address the stigma associated with mental health issues and I’m glad you are a part of it. Love and light. xo

8 Comments

  1. Speaking as a person who has not had either of those diseases and who has a relatively healthy relationship with my scarcely-used bathroom scale: I really loved this post. It has a great overall message, a personal and touching and vulnerable story, and also is full of hilarious one-liners (and the craft store SHOULD let you live there. Jerks). What I’m saying is: I’m going to keep reading this blog of yours. Also, I’m going to try to remember to share this post during that first week of February.

    • alliespins

      Thank you for appreciating my awkward self deprecation for a good cause 🙂 I’m so happy to hear you are healthy and happy 🙂

  2. I used to be so tied to that digital number – I’d religiously lie 20 pounds lighter whatever my weight truly was. I’d strip down to boxer briefs and exhale all breath when I got weighed at the doctors’ office. I’d be more likely to try to skip my bathroom scale on a pond somewhere than bedazzle it, but I feel you, sister. I feel you.